As much as I'm a huge advocate of super romantic dinners and perfectly planned gifts, I've recently realized that sometimes words are worth a thousand presents.
Over the holidays I gave my mother an adorable winter coat. She loved it and it fit perfectly. My mom put it on and smiled as she zipped it up, she knew it suited her and that she looked great...Until my dad walked in and said : "Really? That looks at least a size too small for you." (Important side note: my father thinks fleece camoflage pants are haute couture)
I was really bummed out by this because:
1) Selfishly, I had picked out and given her this coat and
2) My mom is a really pretty and stylish lady who looks great in all her clothes but this comment completely changed her mood. He took the "I feel pretty" out of her step and it showed instantly.
Another friend of mine recently recounted a nervous third date when she decided to step outside her comfort zone and wear a sexy La Perla garter belt and thigh highs sans underwear. In the heat of the moment her boyfriend looked confused instead of gratefully surprised and asked, "You came over here like that?! I mean you sat in the subway in your dress without underwear?" Needless to say he completely killed the mood along with any future lingerie endeavors his date may have wanted to try.
My girlfriend's and my style could not be more opposite. I own enough feathers and rhinestones to outfit an entire cast of Vegas showgirls while she gravitates toward crisp button downs and Brook Brothers Oxfords. But even though I probs wouldn't love a plaid button down shirt on a hanger, I think it looks stunning on her. Mostly because she is the most gorgeous girl in the world, but more importantly because I can see that she FEELS adorable in it...
Similarly she gets that I shine in a corseted dress and thigh high Christian Louboutin boots ( <--my xmas gift from her!!) And tells me I look beautiful...even though this look anywhere else might remind her of a deranged pirate.
So please, make sure to compliment your lady when she looks good. And even if you may not always get what she's going for, try your best to be supportive when she's rocking a questionable look she FEELS good in. (Added bonus: you're way more likely to score if she feels sexy AND hears that you think she is too)
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1 comment:
Wow. You made me think about the importance of words to a relationships in the past present and future. The examples you gave are easy to visualize. Come to think of it, when I recall things my father said growing up it's no wonder I'm repulsed by maleness. Yuck! While I'm thinking abou it, you look beautiful.
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